My Story

 

I conceptualize myself as a being of Light incarnated in a human body. Most of the time, I walk around full of gratitude, beaming out my appreciation of the current moment, even if that moment includes some physical pain or emotional imbalance. It wasn’t always like this...

My past includes psychosomatic ulcers in first grade, deep-seated self-destructive patterns, and alcoholism. For many years, I considered myself a truth-seeker, but my “truths” were mostly bleak judgments about the abjectness of humanity. I could be a relentless worker, excelling in several different professions while suffering through persistent depression and failed marriages. This dichotomy between successful outer-self and tortured inner-self continued for many years through many different circumstances.

Living in the intentional community of Lama Foundation seeded a miraculous transformation in me. I readily embraced Hindu chanting, Buddhist meditation, and Native American Church ceremony. I became even more devoted to selfless service, yet an underlying self-hatred remained within.

My fog and funk didn’t dissipate until I devoted myself to Toltec wisdom and energetic practices. I learned to face my inner demons and to direct those energies into life-affirming pathways. I figured out how to rewire the inner energetic tangles that had fueled my manic-depressive cycles and have now been depression-free for years. I looked deeply within myself and found an indwelling divinity, eager to embrace me. I remembered how to love myself.

At first, these lessons were not self-evident. It took years to overcome the burdens that I had unwittingly placed upon myself. Yet now, those limitations and the associated suffering lie far behind me. With the help of supportive teachers and role models, of Spirit guides, and of peers, I have come full circle. I now bless all the events of my life, even the most painful ones, because they have led me here. And I know that this is where I was born to be. This is my destiny.

 

A part of that destiny is to assist others in their pilgrimage towards the Light. Since my long detours took me through the swamps of depression, self-abuse, and self-hatred, I have become an effective guide for people facing these and other challenges. My objective is to assist each individual to uncover their truth, to live their dream, to create their own version of Heaven on Earth.

I serve as a Light Worker, although I do not envision the dark as an enemy to be pitilessly defeated. Most people raised in Western society have unconsciously chosen to inhabit a gray zone where control of their lives seems external and they feel victimized by their circumstances. Many of us had the same general programming as children and struggle with the same dilemmas as adults:

* an over-reliance on the left brain that excludes or diminishes the promptings of the heart

* the presence of competing inner voices that make it difficult to manifest intentions

* a tendency to sacrifice what is important to us

* a vague sense that something is wrong and that we are somehow responsible for it

* a cruel tendency towards negative self-judgments due to the  belief that we are flawed or not good enough

My training and personal experience allows me to help with these issues in a variety of ways.

If you want to move beyond old habitual ways of being that diminish your self-worth, if you want to live from your passions and visions, if you want to manifest abundance and happiness, I can probably help. Even though I am not an ascended master, I am a skilled practitioner in these areas. Sometimes we simply need a helping hand to access more freedom and more authenticity, to root these qualities in the matrix of our lives.

 

For me, this service work is more of a calling than a profession. I do charge for some offerings, yet I keep the prices affordable because no one should be denied full access to the Light. I also have many free sharings on this website, including articles on specific energetic practices and archived Human Spirit Radio presentations. Available Services lists a full array of counseling, energetic practices, and shamanic techniques that I offer to promote deeper individualized and group work. The effectiveness of these modalities is completely dependent on your willingness to engage in the work. My role as guide and assistant is to help you to translate your desires into realities.

Our human experience provides us with a common denominator. My goal is to enhance that experience for anyone who wants more.

Love and Light,

jai cross

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